I’m deeply troubled. And these are thoughts I’ve had for quite some time now but I guess now I see the seriousness of it all. Have you ever seen something fall apart right in front of you? More you could see the cracks in the roof and ceiling but you never really did much about those cracks except talk about them. The water from the rains would drip through but the rains weren’t that heavy so it didn’t seem like an important thing to fix. But then, one day, you see dark clouds covering the skies and you know, a heavy downpour is on its way. Now its getting real, you’re seeing that cracks are going to lead to your demise.
To most, it sounds far too vague and covered by many metaphors. Over the past couple of months I’ve been grappling with a myriad of issues that affect the church, or particularly mine. Mainly church politics and the hushed murmurs (very loud though, because even when you think people don’t know, they do). Its so easy to pick out things that are going wrong (which is exactly what I’m guilty of) and talk about these issues passionately with those who agree with your views, you bash people in the process, start to lose hope in “the church”, start to distance yourself or maybe even reach a point of indifference where you don’t care anymore or you might have given up to the point where you’ve told yourself you’re leaving, searching for greener pastures because you simply can’t put up with the cracks. I know I’ve been there, had my “I hate church” days because of all the “injustices” I’ve seen. I’ve distanced myself, attended only because I was dragged there but no longer believed whatever was taught. Sure I loved Jesus but I really just wanted a break from what I’d come to know “church” as.
But today, I got stopped in my tracks as I was going on the default trajectory of blaming stuff on people and pin pointing faults in the system. Not to say that things can’t improve, they can. But at the heart of it, we’re sinful people. All of us. I grew up thinking that church folk were suppose to be the epitomy of morality. Well the truth is, the church is messy. The church is you and me. Sinful, broken people who’ve been redeemed with Jesus’ blood. The more people you add, the messier it gets. And in my frustration with how things are going and how it seems we, the church, aren’t going anywhere, something my best friend says to me ring in my head, based on a scripture in Psalm 127 that says, “Unless the Lord builds a house, they labour in vain who build it“. It reminds me that actually, the church, its Jesus’. And as much as my venting is because I genuinely care how the church is doing, it helps no1 if I try to fix and “build” something when is not even mine to do so.
So today, maybe more to myself than anyone else, I’m challenged to look to Jesus, the builder and the Cornerstone. And I rest in the knowledge that God is sovereign over all things and there’s a plan, that I probably don’t see. And that He helps me see, even a part of that plan. Even I never see the plan in this life, that He helps me be a part of what He is building, not my preconceived notions of what a church is suppose to be.
The minute our eyes are shifted from Jesus, we lose the plot. That doesn’t mean when we look to Jesus, we’re oblivious, busy singing, “with Jesus in my boat I can smile at the storm”. We’re not oblivious. We just know what’s important. And He’ll give us ways to build His church, the way its suppose to be…